Home

Home, as defined by dictionary.com, is a place where one lives that offers security and happiness. Despite the necessity of a home within our lives, people often take their house for granted. Most of us have a place to go to eat dinner, sleep, and socialize with others. However, do we really think of it as such a meaningful place? In Thomas Hardy’s poem, “The Ruined Maid,” he talks about home and how a person can grow up and move out of it. The sheer importance of home, specifically to O’Melia, gets brought up in Hardy’s poem when O’Melia’s friend says to her, “my dear- a raw country girl, such as you be,” (23). This statement reminds O’Melia who she truly is, and to always keep her home close to her heart. Regardless of where somebody may end up in life, their true home will always remain deep within them. Home is a place that defines us. Home is a place that gives a sense of comfort and protection, and somewhere we can always go. It begins as a place where we grow up and learn different behaviors, but eventually turns into a place to come back to, despite the time spent away. Home is a safe haven, and a place to always fall back on. Overall, home is the most important place in a person’s life.

Considering all aspects, there are many components that create a person’s “home”. Physically, it offers shelter and a place to live day by day. However, a house can never truly become one’s home without the experiences of character growth, memories, happiness, and sadness. A home might be the place you grew up in with your friends, and made memories that will last forever. In “A Ruined Maid”, that’s exactly what home serves as to O’Melia and her friend. The friend explains to O’Melia what they used to do on the farmyard and what they did growing up when O’Melia left their home. Her friend said, “You left us in tatters, without shoes or socks/ tired of digging potatoes, and spudding up docks/ And now you’ve gay bracelets and bright feathers three”, to which O’Melia responded with “Yes: that’s how we dress when we’re ruined” (1-4). O’Melia does not acknowledge the memories shared with her friend on the farm, she just moves onto the future. The friend tries to have her reconnect with her past and her old home because she is scared that she is forgetting where she came from. O’Melia’s friend is trying to protect her true self-preservation, and using the farm as a tool to do so. No matter where people go, their home is always apart of them. It is the root of everyone’s life because, soon enough, people branch off and build their own life in their “new” home and the memories start all over again. Everyone has specific memories from their first home that will never be forgotten. This happens when her friend reminds her again about the memories they have on the farm. Not all of them would be good memories, but this time, O’Melia acknowledges the ones she had. Her friend said, “You used to call home-life a hag-ridden/ And you’d sigh, and you’d sock, but at present you seem/ To know not of megrims or melancho-ly” (Hardy 17-19).” O’Melia vividly feels and remembers these memories. However, she knows that since she is ruined, she can no longer go back to that life, but it will always be within her.

Home is the beginning of a whole new world. Once you move out and start a new life on your own, it is up to you what you want to do with it and what memories you want to create. Home is a safe and “pure” place. However, in “The Ruined Maid,” O’Melia is no longer “pure” when she leaves home because she is “ruined” by her new lover. The word pure, in this particular situation, is referring to the fact that she is innocent and that’s what memories she has at home, but now she can’t think of her home as a place where she is pure anymore. O’Melia no longer looks as if she came from the roots of a farmer’s daughter. She now looks trashy and is developing a new perspective for herself. O’Melia’s friend gets upset when she changes her perspective because she moved on from her old home and is changing her ways. The friend notices this when she sees O’Melia in town she says “And now you’ve gay bracelets and bright feathers three!” when O’Melia answers “Yes: that’s how we dress when we’re ruined” (Hardy 7-8). O’Melia’s aware that she is changing, however, she constantly says that she is ruined. The friend is scared that O’Melia will forget about her as a friend and where she came from. O’Melia’s friend uses home as a tool to help prevent her from turning her back to who she truly is.

Though she likes to deny it, O’Melia can’t deny that her home, the memories made there, and the people she grew up with will always have a certain place in her heart. However, it is time for her to create a new life, no matter what path she chooses to embark on her journey alone. She is in a place where she feels needed and important, and that is why she is being so defensive to her friend about her new life. “Some polish is gained with one’s ruined” (Hardy 12). O’Melia says to her friend, shows that she likes where she is at and likes how she is treated where as she doesn’t have to do much more work anymore. O’Melia is a little different on the inside when she leaves her home because obviously that same girl who she is not there anymore. She still learned everything she needed to know back there. She learned to be polite, to be lady like, and of course, to always be a hard worker. These qualities will follow her to wherever her new journey takes her. Home is a special place that everyone keeps close to their heart, and no matter how lost you are in life, you will always find the way back home.

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