“To a Daughter Leaving Home” Companion

In Linda Pastan’s poem, “To a Daughter Leaving Home,” Pastan depicts home as a place of reflection. The whole poem is based on a mother’s reflection of a time when her daughter had left home. However, the home that the mother describes is not a psychical place, but a feeling. The home is the relationship between the mother and her daughter. Pastan’s, “To a Daughter Leaving Home,” relies on a single speaker, word choice, flashbacks, and sentence structure to depict the mother’s sorrowful reflection, in order to create a home that is defined by this family’s relationship.

The poem is spoken entirely by the mother, leaving the daughter’s voice absent. At eight-years-old, the daughter does not realize what it means to have successfully ridden a bicycle. To the daughter, it is just an innocent bicycle ride. “The hair flapping / behind you like a / handkerchief waving / goodbye” (21-24). For the mother, this is a milestone. Her daughter has done something without her help. The daughter is getting older and is ready to go off on her own. The mother is not ready for her daughter to grow up yet, “I / sprinted to catch up, / while you grew / smaller…” (13-16). Pastan is playing with the idea that mother’s do not want their children to grow up. Therefore, when a child reaches a milestone, such as riding a bicycle, it creates a sense of sadness for a parent, that a child doesn’t quite understand.

Pastan’s word choice emphasizes that the important elements of a home are not the structure but the experiences that the family shares. The poem’s title, “To a Daughter Leaving Home,” tells the reader that the daughter is currently preparing to leave their home. The type of home that she is leaving is unimportant; what matters is that this home entails, “surprises” (8), “waiting” (11), and “…screaming / with laughter,” (19-20), which also described the bicycle ride. These words could also describe the families’ lives. The home this family has created is full of surprises, waiting, and laughter. To this family, the importance is the memories together, such as the bicycle ride. Pastan emphasizes the moments and the joys in life rather than materialistic things.

Pastan uses a time gap to create a reflection. The mother is telling the story of her daughter leaving home for the first time. The poem, in its entirety, is in past tense, “When I taught you / at eight to ride / a bicycle…” (1-3). The word taught, tells the reader that the mother is reflecting on the time she taught her daughter to ride her bicycle. The gap in time is ultimately created by the title, “To a Daughter Leaving Home.” The present time is the daughter leaving home again. The gap in time creates a reflection from when the daughter was eight-years-old to the present time. This flashback is indicating that as the daughter is preparing to leave, the mother is having similar feelings as the first time her daughter left.

The driving force of the evocative sentimental feelings is felt by the mother, stemming from her anxiety. During the daughter’s bicycle ride, the mother imagined that her daughter may crash or even break during this ride. The daughter did not break and she did not crash; instead, she soared through the streets with a laugh. “I kept waiting / for the thud / of your crash…” (11-13). Then her daughter kept bicycling. Her daughter’s success soothed her anxiety, knowing that her daughter could do things on her own. The mother may experience these feelings of anxiety now that the daughter is leaving home again. However, the mother’s anxiety was soothed after her daughter had been successful on her bicycle. This shows the reader that the mother’s anxiety will calm when her daughter succeeds after leaving home.

Pastan also creates a sentimental reflection through the use of sentence structure. The poem is composed entirely of one sentence. The poem opens with a capital “When” (1), and it ends with a single period after “goodbye” (24). The only other punctuation is a few commas sprinkled throughout the piece. The poem creates a sentimental reflection through the use of a long sentence. The long sentence indicates that the mother does not want this memory to be over. In this poem, the mother is, remembering the first time her daughter ever rode a bicycle. Riding a bicycle for the first time can be viewed as sentimental because the child no longer needs training wheels or someone else to lean on for assistance. Pastan creates a nostalgic feeling for the mother, as she watches her daughter do something by herself for the first time. This means the daughter no longer needs her mother’s help. This is painful for the mother to watch her daughter leave. She does not want her daughter to leave, as this poem does not want to stop. The flow of the single sentence creates reflection, resulting in a sentimental effect.

Linda Pastan’s poem uses several different writing techniques to evoke a strong sentimental feeling in the reader. A sense of sadness is created while the daughter’s voice is absent. In spite of the sadness created, the word choice emphasizes the joy within the family’s home. At the same time, the flashback reminds the mother of the anxiety she felt several years ago that was only soothed by her daughter’s success. The single sentence structure gives the poem a never-ending feeling, similar to the mother’s feeling of not wanting her daughter to grow up. Pastan takes us through a cycle of reflection, that even when the daughter is no longer around, the family still has the relationship that they built based on memories rather than materialist things. Therefore, no matter where you are, if you have a family, you have a home.

Work Cited

Pastan, Linda. “To a Daughter Leaving Home.” The Norton Introduction to Literature. Shorter 11th, University of Iowa Edition. ed. Kelly J. Mays. New York: W.W. Norton, 2013. 736-37. Print.

#LindaPastan #home #poetry #family